Marriage, or any true relationship for that matter, is much more complicated than we figured when we first married. Most couples get married without knowing anything about marriage except the example that their parents set. We walk into marriage with a set of attitudes that are mostly immature. Hopefully, we outgrow them in time, but knowing what these attitudes are can help us to grow our marriage.
One of the hardest things to do when you’re communicating with someone is to express yourself in a way that really conveys what you think and feel. How many times have you said something that just didn’t come out the way you wanted it to? How many times have we said something that we really didn’t mean, but we were too frustrated to stop it from being said? What’s more, some people have a fear of expressing themselves at all. They’re afraid to say something that might cost them a friendship. Or they bottle everything up tight and seize up at the mere thought of sharing their true emotions. This can be conquered.
The ten most common mistakes that husbands make in their marriages. If husbands will focus on even a few of these and make them better, their marriage will improve dramatically.
There are many factors that explain why men often struggle to communicate. Not every man thinks the same way, and not every man will feel that what I say here fits him exactly. There are men who are great communicators, but by in large, the general complaint I hear from wives is: “We never talk!”
Emotional immaturity is the result of or a combination of the following: emotional trauma as a child or young person or never having had to accept responsibility for one’s own actions. These two things are the primary source of emotional immaturity. Combined, they reflect a troubled individual and personality that needs to either heal or mature properly.
Everyone has expectations. In marriage, we enter it expecting certain things. No one looks at someone else and says, “If I marry you, I’ll be so utterly miserable. Will you marry me?” No we expect things. We expect our mate to be faithful to us. We expect our spouse to love us. We expect our friends to back us up. We expect things from the government, from our boss, from our coworkers, and from life itself. We are full of expectations. But what happens when our expectations are unrealistic?
Choosing the right words are perhaps the single most important key to ending arguments and avoiding arguments. You’re going to disagree with people, and when you feel it is necessary to voice your disagreement, choosing the right words are essential. No two people can ever agree on everything. When you feel it necessary to voice your disagreement, your approach, your words, your mannerisms all come into play on how other people react to your disagreement.
Ever tried to penetrate the tough guy facade? Or been turned away by the ‘I don’t need you or anyone else’ face? Have you tried to reason with a rebellious teenager? There is a secret to winning someone’s heart.
Imagine what it would be like with no problems, no difficulties, and no troubles. You’re probably thinking of how peaceful and easy your life would be, but others, the rest of us, would see a weak person with nothing to offer, nothing of substance, and nothing of interest.
When communicating with children it is important to keep your goals in mind. The younger the child, the more difficult it is to reason with a child. A very young child won’t be able to give you the reasoning for his actions.
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