The greatest problem with a bad past is not that you made mistakes or did things wrong. It is that you can’t go back and undo it. That is the most frustrating part about guilt and regrets. We are hands on people. We want to fix mistakes and right wrongs. But once the moment has slipped into the past, what’s done is done. We can’t go back and undo or even redo it. That is the problem.
Since we are people of action, letting your past go is dependent on some sort of action that we can take. There is, fortunately, something we can do.
GOD DOESN’T DEAL WITH YOU ACCORDING TO YOUR BAD PAST – JUST YOUR PRESENT
I’m a Christian and pastor. So I know the struggle that goes on in the heart of people when they think about their bad past. People ask me, “Can God love someone like me?” Or they say, “You don’t know what I’ve done!” I’ve heard many other statements that speak of regret and guilt.
But God doesn’t deal with you according to your past. He looks at your present to determine His interaction in your life. Even a casual study of the Bible will reveal this truth. When people turn their lives around and start doing things right, they are rewarded. It has nothing to do with a past that can’t be changed or undone. It has everything to do with what you are doing right now!
START OVER EVERY DAY
When you realize that all you have is right now, this day, then that will become your focus. Every day is a new day. Every day is a fresh beginning, a new start.
If you have a bad past, that doesn’t mean that today has to be a bad day. I have a little ritual that I go through every morning. I read my Bible and pray, but during that prayer I say something like this. “Lord, today is a new day. I can’t do anything about yesterday, and tomorrow isn’t here yet. This is the only day I have. Give me the strength to make it a day worthy of the gift it is.”
The Bible says that we are to ask, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Hey, it’s a new day. Make it the greatest day of your life. If it isn’t, there will be a new day when you wake up.
FORGIVE YOURSELF AND MOVE ON FROM YOUR BAD PAST
If I had to pick a relationship that we struggle with the most it would be the one we have with ourselves. Some hate themselves. Some love themselves way too much to their own detriment. But if you can’t forgive yourself, you will never see the wonderful gift of a new day.
You need to find some way to separate yourself from that bad past. In ancient Roman times, the Romans developed a rather disgusting form of torture and execution. They would tie the condemned torso to torso, mouth to mouth, hands to hands, and feet to feet with someone already dead. As the corpse began to decay, it killed the living in a truly foul way. Being tied to your past will kill your present and future.
Here is something that you may want to consider doing. Have a funeral service for your past. It’s what we do when a loved one dies. We don’t stuff great-grandpa and put him in the armchair in the living room! We bury him. This helps us have closure.
Do this: get yourself a shoebox and put in it things that remind yourself of your bad past. Make a cross and burn into it something like, “John’s Bad Past.” Get your pastor, or a friend, or just do it yourself, but go to some empty field and have a funeral service for your past and bury it.
It sounds corny and a bit silly. But part of forgiving yourself is to have memories that overshadow the bad ones. If you’ll do this, you’ll find that every time you are reminded of your bad past, you’ll also remember the funeral service you had for it. It’ll give you closure on your past and enable you to forgive yourself and move on.
It does work.
Find some way to forgive yourself and move on. Learn from your past; plan for the future; live in the present.
