The wounds of a friend can be deeper than other emotional wounds. You see, friendship is not a relationship separate from other relationships. Friendship is the height or pinnacle of other relationships. Thus, a child and parent can become friends. Spouses can become friends. Neighbors and coworkers can become friends. But with this closeness comes a particular ability–the ability to hurt you more quickly and easily than others. Just check out social forums and websites, and you’ll quickly realize that it is those closest to us that hurt us the most.
For a true friend, hurting you will come in two categories:
- The unintentional or the thoughtless wound.
- The intentional and purposeful wound.
The Thoughtless Wounds of a Friend
Too many times we allow the unintentional and thoughtless wound of a friend to affect us more than we should. People say things that hurt us without intending to. People thoughtlessly do things that hurt us. We take these injuries and nurse them, bearing an emotional or mental grudge. But since the injury was thoughtless or unintentional, the other person may be unaware of your pain. As a result, you may see them as callous and cold. Many friendships end up in disaster over this.
Good communication will solve most of these issues. If you will be open and talk about the injury or pain, the other person, if they are a true friend, will help you to heal.
But don’t let a thoughtless or unintentional wound consume you. Don’t make it into a cancer that will poison your entire relationship.
The Intentional Wounds of a Friend
The other type of wound is the intentional and purposeful one. This is where a friend will hurt you in an effort to help you in some manner. If you have a friend like this, count your blessings.
The Bible says:
Proverbs 27:6 – Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
A friend is faithful to you at times when they have to hurt you. A true friend won’t agree with all your decisions. Sometimes, we think a friend should support us in everything. But if what you want to do is just flat-out stupid, a friend won’t support it! Thank God that there is someone in your life willing to hurt you in your own best interests.
Even if you disagree with their point of view, you need to realize that having such a friend is a valuable asset. You never want to let go of someone like that! Most people expect a friend to be on their side in every situation, and that is how they define friendship. This is just not true. When you are wrong or when you are misguided, you need someone who will point out the mistakes and fallacies in your choices, your decisions, and your thinking.
I dare say, if everyone around you has always supported every decision you made, you are either wise beyond imagination, or you’ve blundered from one disaster to another surrounded by people who are only pretending to be your friends. I thank God for the friends in my life that have stood in my way when I was headed toward disaster. Thank God for the friends who have hurt me.
