Is It Possible Never to Hate?


People Are Talking

Healthy Relationship Ingredients

Sign up to get my column and get my helpful book Stressin' Over Stress for FREE!
Don't Hate?

The answer to this question is fairly simple. If you love something, then you must hate its opposite or the love you have is not love. So the simple answer is no; you can never get to the place where you don’t hate.

Let me illustrate. If you love freedom, then you must hate slavery. If you say you don’t hate slavery, how can you say you love freedom? The two don’t mix. To love the one means you hate the other. If you say you love the truth, then you must hate the lie. If you don’t hate the lie, then you can’t say you love the truth.


This is the nature of love and hate. To whatever degree you love, you will by necessity hate that which injures, reduces, or changes what you love. I love God. I hate the Devil. Since the Devil seeks to reduce and divide that which I love, I find myself hating everything he does.

Because I love people, I hate those things that injure, harm, reduce, or negatively affect them. I’ve witnessed firsthand the devastation that drugs, alcohol, pornography, and extramarital affairs have on relationships. They sit in my office and I have to catch their tears and help pick up the pieces. You could say that I hate these things.


God also hates things. The Bible gives a list of things that God hates (Proverbs 6:16-19). The reason for His hatred of these things is the negative effect they have on those He loves–you. It is impossible for God to love something without hating that which seeks to destroy the things He loves.

The same is true for you and I. To love means that you also hate. In this, we learn what we should and should not love. The key is to love that which brings together and builds. Anything that divides relationships, injures people, and separates is something that I hate.


In this context, hatred is not a bad thing. It is the product of our love. Love is made much stronger when there is this opposite hatred. In some ways, it is a proportional relationship. The more you love on one hand, the more you will hate on the other.

Where hatred, even of the right things, becomes dangerous is when you focus on it more than you do that which you love. Let me give you an example. If I hate sin, then that means I love righteousness. I can now do one or of two things. I can focus on sin because I hate it or I can focus on the righteousness I love. I’d rather focus on righteousness.

Focusing on the wrong thing will often birth wrong results. Focus on what you love. You’ll still hate what seeks to destroy your love, but in focusing on your love, you will build and grow. When you focus on your hatred, you will tear down and destroy. Ultimately, it can consume you.

Christian author and relationship expert, specializing in adding The Divine Ingredient to every aspect of life to make life all the more enjoyable.

You may also like this

07 June 2017

The Selfish Martyr in Relationships

A martyr, of course, is someone who sacrifices much for a cause he or she believes in. People who are killed for their faith are martyrs. This is grea

Greg Baker
05 May 2017

Defining Unconditional Love

The common definition of unconditional love is to love someone no matter what they do, but that is not true. To love someone unconditionally means you

Greg Baker
28 April 2017

Why Everyone Hates You

Do you ever feel as if everyone hates you? I have encountered many people who feel this way. In looking into it, I have pinpointed a variety of causes

Greg Baker

Leave Comment